Letter to Haven from Trent

July 7, 2020 – Words Trent Holloway wrote to his daughter on his Facebook Wall. 

Haven, 

Here are some truths I need you to know about friendship: 

1. Not everyone is going to like you. It’s okay. (I know it won’t always feel like that’s true, but I promise it is). 

2. Not everyone is going to invite you. That’s okay too. 

3. You’ll never regret kindness. (Never ever). 

4. If you constantly have to tiptoe around them, they’re not your people. 

5. You get to choose them, so choose the ones who are choosing you back. 

6. Have high standards when it comes to friends, but don’t be unrealistic. They’re going to mess up, so are you. Grace is essential. 

7. Be yourself. Let other people be themselves right back. 

8. You can’t have friends if you don’t know how to be a friend. Focus on being the best friend you possibly can. 

9. Don’t wait. You’re allowed to do the inviting and the reaching out too. 

10. Listen. 

11. If you want them to be there for the big stuff, you’re gonna have to be there for each other in the small stuff too. 

12. Don’t knowingly leave people out. It doesn’t feel good. 

13. Gossip is garbage. 

14. Drama is too. Stay above the fray, and feel free to walk away. 

15. You can’t be best friends with everyone. But you can notice everyone. You can smile at everyone. You can say hello to everyone. You can be good to everyone and make sure people feel seen. 

16. It’s better to be genuinely loved by a few than fake loved by a few thousand. 

17. Popularity for the sake of popularity is pointless. 

18. Your worth will never come from others. You have to learn to accept yourself if you want others to accept you. 

19. Give more than you take, but don’t be anyone’s doormat. Your daddy didn’t raise you right so you could be walked all over. 

20. Your friends should be good to you, but they should also be good to other people. If they’re nice to you and then turn around and talk smack about others, they’re not nice. 

21. Be loyal. Stick up for your friends whether they’re around or aren’t. 

22. Friends aren’t toys to be discarded when you get bored. Deep friendships take time and commitment. 

22. Show up for your friends even if they didn’t ask you to. If they’re going through something hard check on them, sit with them, and bring them flowers. Be present, even if it feels awkward. 

23. If Daddy don’t like them, there’s probably a good reason. 

24.Friendship is one of the most important things you can invest in in life. Make the time. 

25. If you get hurt, I’m always here for a hug, and to talk, I’ve been there. Give yourself time and grace to heal, but listen my love, don’t close yourself up and don’t shut yourself away. Opening up your heart again is worth the risk. 

I love you to the moon and back.

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